I had an audition for a film yesterday...only problem was the audition was in San Diego. Compounding that, I was supposed to have an audition for a play back in Los Angeles on the same day as well as having about 15 people over my house for a little get together. What to do, what to do.
My manager (who rocks and I couldn't be happier with...actually I love both Maria and my commercial agent Judy...they are total rock stars and work so hard for and with me. I can't wait to make them both a boatload of cash for believing in me so much...but I digress) got the play audition changed to Sunday so that took care of that. I still had the people coming over but the auditions in SD were from 9-noon so I figured I could do both.
Maria made sure this was something I wanted to do and she did the research on the production and the company. It's a low budgeted (about 3 million) sex comedy type thing (American Pie, Caddyshack...that sort of thing) and they had the funding and resources and also had some other projects getting funded. So it sounded worth it to me to at least make a go of it, go down there for the audition and maybe energetically let the Universe know: "Hey, I'm willing to go pretty far for this...so help me out huh?"
I spent Friday night reading the script (note to any would-be offers of acting work out there...I read all the scripts I have access to. If you have the entire script available and want to read me, rest assured I will have read the script before coming in and not just the parts with 'my character' in them.) and then got up at 7:00 AM Saturday to begin the trek.
Accompanied by the lovely Amber and her kick ass Prius we hit the road by 8:00 and made amazing time. We got to the audition a little after 10:00. I do my weird little actor-y prep type stuff and go in for the read. I felt good about it and don't feel I held back anything, so that's about all you can do. It's 11:00 now as we hope back into the car and head on back to Los Angeles.
We get back to my house at 1:30 (hit a little traffic around Commerce) and promptly crash for a little 20 minute nap before I have to go get pizzas and people start arriving. I'm glad I didn't cancel the poker game as I won both tournaments (hehe).
The entire evening ended at about 11:30 and I was wiped out. I was also starving and I thanked the heavens for allowing me to live two blocks from a 24 hour Carls Jr. One Jalapneo Burger and a viewing of a DVR'ed episode of Denis Leary's Rescue Me and it was off to bed with visions of movie sets and all in poker bets fresh in my head.
Did a double feature movie day yesterday and took in V for Vendetta and American Dreamz. Two really different movies but both containing themes of terrorists. Weird.
I loved V and foud it to be a really powerful movie. My friend Jeff bought me the graphic novel for my birthday last month and I've just started delving into that. I wanted to see the movie on the big screen, though, so I figured I'd go see it and read the comic afterwards. The movie really touched a nerve with me though as one of my biggest concerns in the post-9/11 era is the nations willingness to give up basic freedoms in the name of "protection". Where does it stop? The movie touches on the fact that if you give up your freedom you're as guilty (in my mind, moreso) as the person who takes it from you. Everyone is afraid at one time or another but giving up freedom under the guise of being protected only pans out worse in the long run.
Oh yeah, it had some cool fight scenes too. Highly recommended.
American Dreamz was a very funny parody of not only the American Idol craze but also of our politcal system and international policy. Paul Weitz (he of American Pie and About a Boy) wrote and directed it and I really enjoyed the movie. Hugh Grant seems to be having a second career playing more unlikeable characters. His turn in About a Boy was one of my favorite movies of that year and I think Weitz really brings out the best and most interesting aspects of him. I'm a huge Dennis Quaid fan and surprisingly, I'm turning into a fan of Mandy Moore as well. She makes really interesting choices in roles (I loved Saved!) and seems to be in it for the long haul, getting better with each performance. I hope to get the chance to work with her someday...actually, the same could be said for anyone from any of the two movies I watched yesterday.
Well that would be My Yahoo...or more specifically, your My Yahoo. Confused? I am.
Either way, you can now add this blog to your My Yahoo page by clicking the friendly little button below. No longer do you have to wake up in a cold sweat because you realize you haven't checked the blog lately and aren't up to date! No longer will you be the laughing stock of your company's water cooler because you don't know my latest escapades and nonsensical ramblings! No longer!!
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I'm glad people enjoyed my last post on the anatomy of a hell gig and also took out the time to check out Tim Mcintire's site as well. I hope you'll pick up his new CD Scatterbrained if you like what you saw.
One of Tim's postings was about his worst hell gigs of all time and I had a few friends ask me about what were mine. So I might as well list some here. Just remember the age old adage: "The only thing worse than no one laughing is one person laughing, and it's the other comic on the show".
In no particular order:
** Giggles, Saugus, MA - This was the third time I had ever been onstage. My family was there as was a girl I had just started dating. Unfortunately for me, I had actually done really well the first and second time I ever did standup, so why should this show be any different? Well, it was. Ouchie, did I die. The funny thing is, I think that was the last time I saw that girl. So there's a lesson for any young comic hopefuls out there. Don't invite people to your show until you've been doing it awhile and can maintain some level of consistency. Even then it's a crapshoot, as the last item on this list only happened two years ago, but you'll at least be able to play the odds, like in poker.
** Some place in Connecticut - This is the one Tim mentioned in my "Comments" section. I honestly don't remember the name of the place or the city in CT, all I know it was hell. He and I drove two hours to Connecticut for this little one nighter gig. We get there, they feed us, everything seems hunky-dory. Small crowd, maybe about 20 people. I'm going to open with 30 minutes and then Tim will close with 45. Standard two person show. I go up, do some jokes...silence. Strange. Some more jokes...silence. Really loud silence. I keep hammering away and hammering away and still get nothing. At one point I called to Tim "these are the same jokes I use all the time...am I doing them differently?" I wasn't, it was just these 20 people made a conscious decision to not laugh at one word I said...for an entire 30 minutes. The only bright spot of the show was that Tim, confident that he could get them, experienced the same mind numbing silence for the entirety of his 45 minute set. So at least it wasn't me.
** Hamburger Mary's, Long Beach, CA - Friend of mine is booking this room a few years back and asked me if I wanted to come down and do the show. "It's a very gay room and you do that West Hollywood stuff, they'll love you." Mm hmmmm. I get to the gig and the place is packed. Seems like it might be a fun show. She goes up, does a ton of crowd work and absolutely kills. They love her. OK, no biggie, I've followed people who've killed before and held my own. I make the mistake of opening with an ad lib that I thought was funny. I said, "When I got told about this gig I was really excited about all the girls I was gonna pick up." Nothing. Worse than nothing because as the word "up" left my lips about 95% of the room turned their back to me and began talking to each other. As if I wasn't even there. I was supposed to do about 20 minutes but instead got lit (told to wrap it up early, they literally hold up a lighter or other light source...this was the first time I had that happen to me) at about 11 and I was HAPPY TO DO SO. Thrilled, even. I even offered to take no pay for the spot but they felt worse about the situation than I did...so I took the cash.
One of my closest friends in the world (and the father of my godson Jude) Tim Mcintire just released a new CD entitled "Scatterbrained" and also got a write up in the Boston Globe's Calandar section, which is ultra-cool. Tim is one of the best comedians I've had the pleasure of working with and one of the few comics who I would NOT want to follow onstage. He has the ability to absolutely crush and render any other comics' meager ramblings obsolete. So do yourself a favor and check out the article as well as the CD. I believe he also has his first CD "Poor Impulse Control" up for free on his site and has some clips from the new CD up on My Space.
OK, enough shameless plugging for friends. Man, I start to get a headache if I go that long without actually talking about myself.
One of the things about Tim's CD that is getting a lot of attention is the fact that he put a 30 minute uber bomb set he did on there as a special "bonus" track. This is not a comic not doing well, this is the H-Bomb of sets (appropriately entitled "Nagasaki"). I don't think a younger comic or someone not that familiar with the business would understand why you would put something like that on your CD for all to hear.
The simple answer is: It's hysterical.
I've been there and believe me it's not fun and at the same time...it is. I've had sets where no one listened, a fight broke out, someone tried to get onstage with me (a drunk guy who I abruptly 'jousted' off using my mic stand...and then finished the joke I was telling), I've even had a person get up and play pinball right in the middle (doesn't sound so bad until you realize the pinball machine is actually right at the stage. Abutting it even).
While you're going through it, it sucks. It's awful. You do a joke and it gets nothing. OK, so that didn't get them but surely the next one will. How about the next one? Maybe this one? Um, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar...? No? How about you come up here and try it? Where are you from?!
You get a feeling in your stomach comparable to a sucking gunshot wound. There is the inevitable sweat on the brow and forehead and the forced smile of "this doesn't really bother me at all". But it does. And then one day...
...it doesn't.
When I first started, I would live and breathe a bombed set day and night. What did I do wrong? How could I have gotten them? And then one day your confidence outweighs your lack of experience and it doesn't matter. Sure I want to give people their money's worth and kick ass and have them rolling, but sometimes it doesn't happen that way and you roll with it. It comes with becoming professional. You can go too far the other way with "screw these people, I'm hysterical and they just don't get me. It's them not me!" because there are plenty of times when it is most CERTAINLY me and not them. There are also the times when nothing you do is going to change it and you just suffer through your 5, 15, 30, (God help you) 45 minute set. You eat it, collect your check and hop in the car for the 2 hour drive home.
And then you laugh. Because now you have one more horror story to share with the other comics at the bar after the next show you kill at.
I uploaded a new video clip to the site from the Dee Wallace Showcase I performed at last year. I acted and performed standup in the show and it was a blast. The clip is some of the standup portion.
In other news, I finally got DVR for my home and my life will never be the same. I'm taping shows I never even heard of and I will now bend the network's schedule to my own will!! They shall all do my bidding!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...
