My admittedly brief review of Episode III yesterday got me to thinking. Why did the old Star Wars movies touch so many people and become this huge phenomenon where the last three movies just left people feeling flat. The former trilogy definitely tapped into the zeitgeist of the time. Space travel was becoming more and more prevalent in people's lives and there hadn't been any true "blockbuster" movies using the vast array of special effects and characters, but those can't be the only reasons. After 20 years of anticipation, the magic was definitely still there. The void to be filled. Why didn't these work as well as the others?
The easy answer is: they sucked. Not entirely accurate. I liked the third one on my initial viewing and thought once they got over the love story in Episode 2 it picked up considerably. Not that I can't watch "mushy" love stuff, but the dialogue was just so bad it made me cringe.
I used to date this woman who was gorgeous. Stunning. But the relationship only lasted a few weeks. Her personality was awful. Selfish, narcissistic, insecure. All of my friends were shocked. "Dude, how can you break up with her? She's so hot." Sure aethstetically (I think I may have butchered that word so bad that even spellcheck can't help me) she was beautiful to look at. But once you got past it, there wasn't much there.
That's how I feel about the Star Wars movies now. They look fantastic and some of the action sequences and effects (pod race, huge jedi battles, the different planetscapes...et al) are dazzling. But when it's over, I don't feel anything from it. All sizzle and no steak.
I've always been a geek of some sort growing up. When I was little I had all of the Star Wars figures and ships my meager allowance could afford. I always dreamt of buying thousands of stormtrooper figures to wage large scale battles with my ragtag group of heroes. In reality, I could only afford one or two, so they would have to die and come back to play another role, like an extra in a Bruce Lee movie.
I would spend hours playing with them, re-enacting scenes and creating new adventures (one time, my mother came into my room and was watching me for a few minutes before I realized she was there. I was horrified. It was as if she walked in on me masturbating. Even worse for some unknown reason. ). I can't imagine kids today getting that into action figures from the new movie. There's no connection.
I never read the Lord of the Rings books growing up. Sure, I'd seen the Hobbit cartoon and maybe bits of the Ralph Bakshi animated debacle when it aired on cable. But the story and it's characters always seemed dry and unapproachable to me. Until I saw Peter Jackson's interpretation.
There's a moment in the first LOTR film (and it's not in the book so I assume that it was put there for the exact purpose of what it accomplished with me) where Gandalf rides into the Shire on his horse and buggy to be met by Frodo. It's the first time we see these two characters. Frodo chides him for "being late" and Gandalf, in the dry and stodgy manner which I had already assumed the character to possess, replies with "Frodo Baggins, a wizard is never late or early...he arrives precisely when he means to." There is a brief tense staredown and then...
...Gandalf smiles. He laughs at how pompous his statement was and the two embrace, revealing an old friendship that didn't need to be spelled out. I was hooked. These were real people...friends busting each other's balls. I can relate to that. From that moment, ten minutes into the film, Peter Jackson had me.
When Gandalf "dies" or when Aragorn risks it all to buy Frodo just a little more time to complete his task...there is real emotion there. I felt for these people because I really and truly believed in their world and the relationships and bond they shared. Yes, the special effects in LOTR were amazing and blew me away. But never once did I feel they took away from the characters and the smaller story of friends coming together to help each other during the darkest times. I felt the same with the original Star Wars trilogy. I really felt these characters cared for each other. They were intertwined. Han coming back to save Luke's keister at the end of Star Wars was one of the most euphoric times I remember from a movie. When they reunite in Jedi, you felt that the band was back together.
I never felt that in Episode's 1-3. I never felt any bond between the characters. When Obi Wan is there for Padme's birth of the twins, it felt odd. I felt like these two characters never really knew each other. It wouldn't be the same if Lando or Chewie were watching over Princess Leia while Han was off battling another front. And it all just felt rushed.
The characters never had any voices of their own. Han Solo had his own voice and characteristics. As did Lando, Chewie, Leia, Vader and even Luke to an extent (he with the most significant and obvious change throughout). In the new movies, everyone speaks in the same monotone, self important voice. Where is the hustler? The swindler? The sarcastic and fiery heroine? It's all the same expository dialogue in every scene. Yes I understand the story, but I have no feel for the people in it.
I don't think you're going to get many "quotables" from the new movies. In Star Wars, one of my favorite scenes is when they are trying to free the Princess and Han has to pretend to be an Imperial trooper over the comlink (which should have been a dead giveaway since it appears that everyone that works for the Empire, with the exception of Vader, is English or has an accent. You rebel scum). "um, everything's good here, we're fine....how are you?" Then he blasts the entire setup "boring conversation anyway". In that moment, I get Han. That's him. (I also got him when he shot Greedo first, but Heaven Forbid a lead character have any gray area)That's what he would do and none of the other characters would react to that situation in that manner. It's what makes him who he is and what makes you latch onto the character. It makes him just a little bit more real.
And I think that's why the old movies worked so well.
"You're all clear kid, now lets blow this thing and go home"
**Some spoilers could be had in this. If you haven't seen Episode 3 you might want to skip this**
I held out as long as I could. Really. After being sorely disappointed by Episodes I & II, I figured to hell with George Lucas. I'm done. Then I saw the trailer..."Rise Lord Vader" Ok you sucked me in yet again.
But I refused to go opening weekend. Refused! Mr. Lucas can sweat and wait on my 10 bucks. I like to think that drop in the bucket matters somehow. Somewhere Lucas laughs and Greedo shoots first.
I liked the movie, though. I thought the special effects were vastly improved from the other movies (although some scenes of the cloned Jango Fett face looked straight out of a video game cut scene...no texture and way too smooth). I thought the buildup to Anakins final turn was logical and really gave him justification of why he's such a bastard in the following years. And Yoda kicking ass is always fun to watch.
But man, what's with that dialogue? Just awful. "Hold me like you held me back on Naboo at 6:00 in the evening when the sun was setting and I had that blue dress on, you know..the dress you bought me when we were at that market on Naboo..." and so on.
I think Lucas is an amazing producer. His vision is unparalleled. He creates a world so vast and a merchandising empire that rivals Palpatine's. I just don't like him as a director or writer. There's no heart to the movies. Every character has the same voice. Where is the Han Solo scoundral character, making quips and plays for princesses?
And I really could have done without that Frankenstein Vader scene at the end.
OK I think this is going to be my last report from the set of "Mr. Woodcock".
The shoot seemed to go really well, albeit the director did like nine takes of every scene. Plus rehearsals. I played Whac-a-Mole for about 3 hours straight...I think I got carpal tunnel. The worst part about it was that due to the noise, they couldn't actually turn on the game during the scene. So I had to "pretend" to play Whac-a-Mole. There was this large man next to me that apparantly didn't have the stamina for such a grueling effort. Around the 3:00 AM hour he stopped pretending at all. He just would pick up the mallet and let it fall. At one point he just stood there and fell asleep. Standing up. Very impressive.
There was this one kid who I guessed to be 22, but looked like he was 12. He was mouthing off to these two girls about how he likes to date "fat chicks". "Sure they cost more to feed," proclaimed Don Juan, "but they are so desperate and lonely that I can get right in there". I have no idea where "right in there" may be on the female body but I do have a sneaking suspicion that this kid ain't had p**** since p**** had him.
But I bit my lip. Until, he started talking about the Red Sox....
He said that it's bogus that the All Star Game dictates home field advantage in the World Series, and had it not, St. Louis would have beaten the Sox.
I had to call "Bullshit".
I couldn't take anymore and lit into him. "Um, that's all fine and good but the Sox SWEPT St. Louis. And two of the games, including the one where they WON THE WORLD SERIES was in St. Louis." He was finally forced to the "I bet the whole thing was rigged" argument.
Oh yeah, Einstein. That conspiracy along with your expansive treatise on fat chicks has unlocked all of the secrets of the universe.
I'm surprised someone hasn't done some type of Curb Your Enthusiasm type show on being an exra (hmmmm...wheels turning...). Not only can it just be grueling and soul sucking (and on occasion fun and interesting) but you just meet the weirdest freakin' people. There are three types of "extras":
1) The actor who is doing it in hopes of getting the coveted Union voucher (three and you're eligible to join SAG) or just picking up some spare cash. These are usually people that you'll strike up conversations with and make some friends with. They make the long hours a little more fun and bearable.
2)People just interested in seeing how movies work or glimpsing a celebrity. I have to say, that if you aspire to be in the film or television industry, being an extra can be very beneficial as you learn how a set runs and who does what. I try to soak up as much of that as possible. It's invaluable. When I did my commercial, I was on the set almost the entire day, talking to the crew, asking questions. I want to know what everyone does and learn about every aspect of film, TV, commercials. Why not? If it's your life's passion and what you want to do, it can only help to learn as much as possible about it.
and finally...
3) The lifers. These are the "professional extras". This is what they do. They love it. As many days a week as possible (there was one union guy who actually went in non union so he could work more - there is more non union extra work, but it pays half as much - but he loves doing it apparantly). Some like the comraderie of the other extras. Some like the free food. And some are just insane. I mean certifiable. I had one old guy scream at me because I was sitting at his table and apparantly there wasn't any room for someone else. Seats were at a minimum. I believe he actually threatened to call the Union Board and report me. For sitting at a table. And it's not like it was a "union vs. non-union" type thing (and they do differentiate, believe me. Different craft services and everything)...I'm union. And I wasn't anywhere where I wasn't supposed to be. I was just trying to eat a piece of chicken and a salad at our 1 AM "lunch break".
Some of the lifers are very nice. Some are not. And some just seem to be about a week shy of some state goverened institution...be it a psychiatric ward or prison.
But it's a club, a clique. Somewhere to belong. And I guess in the overall sense of it, it's not too bad a way to make a buck.
Last night I started a three day stint on the new Billy Bob Thornton movie "Mr. Woodcock". It also stars Susan Sarandon and Sean William Scott. I'm doing background work, which is something I've never been too fond of, but I did it to get my last SAG vouchers. So now I'm officially eligible to join the union. So happy day there.
But man, doing extra work is grueling and just weird. Last night's call was at 2 PM and the shoot didn't wrap until 5 AM!!
I got a chance to speak with Billy Bob for a bit and he was extremely nice. The part of the movie I was working on takes place at a Carnival (or CORNival as it's in Nebraska...kind of remeniscent of the Greater Grady Squash Fest in Doc Hollywood) and the Zoomer in the headline one of those carnival rides, the kind with the chairs attached to chains and swings in a circle. So I was on this with Billy Bob, Sarandon and Scott at one point. How many times can you get that chance?
During the day, I experienced the difference between Los Angeles and "everywhere else". There were a bunch of little kids on the set at various times during the day (they can only work a certain amount of time) and I was in line with two little girls so we were chatting. One of them (7 years old) said "I have a movie coming out", which was nothing more than her doing some background work in the movie Wedding Crashers.
As a side note...I don't really understand a parent taking a kid out of school to do extra work. I mean, if your kid was an actual featured performer and had a tutor on set, I can see it. But to just stand in the background and be, for all intents and purposes, set dressing just seems odd. It's not like the money is that great....but I digress...
So I'm asking the girls how the whole "school on set" thing worked and the younger of the two looks me dead in the eye and with no trace of irony says, "haven't you ever taken a day off school to be in a movie?"
Um,no. They couldn't understand that it doesn't really happen like that in the rest of the country. But this is her world. It's her perception and it's just natural to miss school to be in a movie.
And that is the difference between Los Angeles and everywhere else.
Thanks to a letter sent into Wizard magazine, I came across this little beauty from a 1950's Batman comic book:
Heh. He just keeps saying it over and over. I know it means mistake, but come on! This is close to the 10th time I've read it and it still makes me laugh (chortle?). And the reason for that is simple...
I'm a very immature person.
Seriously. I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old sometimes.
OK...often.
My friend Bob had the best line so far "I assume he'll get arrested and taken to Arkham where surely more boners await." hehe
Drop a comment with your own childish joke! And no chortling!
You can actually see the entire comic at Paintedover.com if you click the Link below.
P.S. I'm also in the process of updating the links on the left. I'm redesigning all of the pages that were on my old website and linking them from here. I redesigned the Bio page, let me know what you think.
Don't Panic...I liked Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
I liked it. A lot.
There I said it.
I admit that I, having read the books in high school, sat down and laughed my ass off and enjoyed the movie. I don't know if that makes me a traitor to the cult of Douglas Adams followers or not, but I thought it was damn funny.
Sure, not every funny or brilliant part of the book was included in the movie. Yes, they changed the ending. Yes, there were fundamental differences. No they did not include Eddie (the computer on board the Heart of Gold) singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" as missles hurtled toward our travellers (that part, in the book, had me laughing out loud and was one of the reasons I was so looking forward to the movie). They never explained the significance of "the towel" or Earth's "Mostly Harmless" entry into the Guide. And taking all that into consideration...
...I still liked it.
The casting was great. Sam Rockwell has been, and will most likely remain, one of my favorite actors. That dude brings so much energy to every role he plays. He never mails it. He can go over the top sometimes, but he makes it work. Martin Freeman WAS Arthur Dent. And I've become a huge fan of Mos Def ever since seeing in that HBO movie "Something the Lord Made" with Alan Rickman (another favorite and loved his voiceover as Marvin...although I did think his one liners were not written as funny as they were in the book).
And I just crush on Zoey Dachenelle something fierce. I really want to work with her. And date her. So there's that...
The special effects were good and cheesy at the same time. The creature work was Henson at their best. And I just had fun watching it. Although I never understood how, in the marketing campaign, someone didn't think to include "April 29...Don't forget your towel". It seemed right there for the taking.
Yes, I'm sure it could have been so much better, but for what it was, I enjoyed my two hours and didn't feel ripped off. That's more than I can say for most films.
The past few weeks I've been working with an amazing artist named Jeff Schuetze on adapting a screenplay I wrote into a creator owned comic book, It's coming along better than I coud imagine.
It's called 60 Minute Broadway
The story is about a down on his luck pro wrestler who is working the indie circuit of high school gyms and dank armories. He is surrounded by misfits, has-beens and never-weres as he strives to one day have his moment...the main event at Madison Square Garden.
You can check out more sketches and artwork by clicking the image below. We're going to try to have some preview pages up in the next few weeks. Keep checking back.
At the behest of my good friend Bob Pottle, I've started this blog thing up again. He seems to think that the struggles I go through and weird experiences I seem to encounter would be a good read. He's a great guy. Not so hot at Mario Kart, though. :)
So I hope to update this pretty regularly. Now if I can just get someone to actually read it, besides him and my Mom.
