Rules for Monkey Movies
Just as any red blooded American, I love monkeys. What's even better than monkeys you ask? Why I'll tell you...movies that have monkeys in them!
There are just three simple rules that I have for movies with monkeys in them. They are:
1. Monkeys in human clothing...always funny: 'Nuff said, really. Put a monkey in a business suit and I'm there. Bonus points if he talks at some point.
2. If you have a monkey in a movie, please use a REAL monkey: This is what I like to call the Ed rule. Ed was a movie starring Matt LeBlanc in his salad days. He was a baseball player and they had a monkey playing the infield. Except they didn't use a real monkey and it looked just awful. You could practically see the zipper on the suit! This is blasphemy. Just look at Every Which Way But Loose as a prime example of how a real monkey can ehance any movie. Right turn Clyde!!
3. Above all else, if you have a monkey in your movie...don't kill the monkey!: This is called the Project X rule. You've got monkeys in your movie, you're off to a great start. Better yet, they are real monkeys! Fantastic! (they're not wearing human clothing but that can be overlooked) With all this going for you don't kill the monkeys!! No one wants to see that. Let the monkeys live, let them save the day and dance in the sun. Anything you want but please don't kill the monkeys!
Unless it's Ed. That psuedo-monkey deserved an ass whippin'!
posted by John K @ 11:16 AM
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