The Chosen One
Have you seen the pictures of The Chosen One yet? No, I don't mean that Jesus has returned and the Rapture is upon us...I'm taking about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's new child Shiloh (which translates to mean "Chosen One).
I didn't understand why people were so hyped to see the kid. I looked at the People Exclusive Photos (tm) and Shiloh looks exactly like what she is...a baby. Show me the kid when she's 18 and then I'll be interested if these two beautiful people can create the perfect gorgeous child.
One of the pictures has Brad holding his tiny, newborn daughter close to his chest as his head rests softly on hers...eyes closed in bliss. I'm sure I've heard reports of women passing out at the mere sight of this visage. This picture is the visual representation of Spanish Fly.
Thanks a-freakin' lot Brad!!!!
How the hell am I gonna compete with that!?!
The one thing guys have going for us is that women love it when we are holding babies. "Awww, look at you...you look so natural holding her". Now Brad has released a picture of him holding his child, and not any child...it's the Chosen One! No regular guy stands a chance as that will be the picture embedded in women's brains as the everlasting, ultimate picture of fatherhood. Sure, you look cute holding that kid...but did you see that picture of Brad Pitt?
Is it not enough that you are Brad Pitt? You're considered one of the hottest guys in the country, you're rich, you've been with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina...can't I just have this??! Now I have to live up to that image??? Talk about overkill!!
It is a dark day everywhere for young average looking men hoping to use the "you look hot holding that baby" angle to get a date.
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