Everything I know I learned from pro wrestling
I've been working on 60 Minute Broadway a lot this past week and it got me thinking in a wrasslin' move. So here are my top ten things that I learned from my years watching wrestling.
10) When the good guy is going for a tag in a tag team match, the referee will always have his back turned at the moment of the tag, negating said tag.
9) Conversely, if a bad guy tags out behind the referee's back, all they need to do is slap their hands together loudly to sound like a tag and that will pretty much do.
8) You can commit heinous acts of violence on a person without risking jail time as long as the weapon is a steel chair or ringside table.
7) If someone is referred to as a "wily veteran" they are going to lose the match.
6) If an announcer counts along with the referee's pin count and says "that's gotta be all", it never is.
5) Missing a top rope move hurts a lot more than landing the move on an opponent, even though you are still falling with the same velocity and landing on the same mat. When the opponent moves, it's just...different.
4) When Hogan starts "hulking up" you will be powerless to resist. You will keep punching him even though it has no effect and finally run straight into his boot. (I always wanted to see someone just kick him in the nuts when he started that whole routine. Hulk up THIS!)
3) If you are Samoan your head will be really hard and the headbutt will be your finisher. Just accept it.
2) You can stab someone in the back with the camera in full view, free of fear that the wrestler will actually go back and look at the tape or just ask someone who was watching the show what happened.
And the number 1 thing I learned from watching pro wrestling.....
1) You can get that big naturally. No seriously. Really.
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