Fantastic Four
After close to a month, I finally got around to seeing FANTASTIC FOUR yesterday. Usually, I'm all over comic book movies (Elektra and Catwoman being notable exceptions) but everything I saw and heard regarding FF left me cold and indifferent. I had a free ticket to AMC in Burbank so that, coupled with the fact that it was Wed. and that means FREE POPCORN for AMC Movie Watcher cardholders, I figured I could see it on the big screen for minimal cost and get a nice snack in the bargain.
I want my free ticket back!!
In an effort to balance my review, let me present the GOOD:
The Johnny Storm/Human Torch character was very well done and I dug the special effects. They dude who played him was also in Not Another Teen Movie (surprisingly funny flic) and he did a great job with the hotshot, cocky Storm and played a pretty funny antagonist to The Thing. Thing/Ben Grimm was also very well done by Michael Chiklis (a fellow Bostonian). The suit came off a lot better on the movie screen than it did in the trailers or on TV. It looked more rocky and not as spongy as I feared.
Um...that's about it. I guess the FF signal sky written in flames was cool. And now the BAD:
There was not story at all. None. On top of that, there was no threat to the city, save for the Fantastic Four themselves. That might have been a nice theme to explore if it had been done purposely. Heroes trying to help but instead exacerbating the problem...but I don't think this ever got that deep. From the cosmic storm that gave them their powers to the big traffic pile-up on the Brooklyn Bridge to the final battle and the property damage that ensues...it was all the FF's fault. They initiated all of the problems and then are lauded as heroes for saving the city. Huh?
And Dr. Doom was just awful. Actually, the Nip/Tuck dude did a good job at the Victor Von Doom character, but once the mask went on and he became Dr. Doom, his voice just didn't fit anymore. He's making puns and suffered from that same disembodied voice that plagued Green Goblin in Spiderman. We can call it "Power Rangers Syndrome".
And what was the deal with making him turn completely into metal? Why? Why couldn't they just cause him to be scarred and use the mask (this Iron Maiden looking death mask that was given to him for his "humanitarian efforts") to cover his scar due to his enormous vanity. Instead, they have him mutate to a completely metal state and then, in an effort to cover it up, PUTS ON A METAL MASK! Why bother? You're already metal!
You may remember the initial trailers for the movie which proclaimed that after the five of them go into space and are hit by the storm:
"One will be bad...four will be fantastic"
Finally, some truth in advertising.
One was bad.
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